Those murders... They're wild, uncontained, so terribly untidy. There wasn't even an attempt to hide any evident. Whoever killed those men cannot be a trained assassin, or at least, not one from Pandora or ANBU.

Who else is here in this city? What is there about this city that attracts such chaos? I wish there weren't so many different parties involved here. If the protests caused by the music ban aren't enough, there seem to be four or five different parties trying to restrain them. What a headache.

Took them bloody long enough to get a curfew up. It makes it much easier to pick out suspicious characters this way. I am glad I am not under that age, if anyone stopped ME and asked me what I was doing at night, they probably won't survive it.

[ooc: I think I just made Hei sound british. O_o;; ]

A little girl came up at dusk when I was setting up my telescope and gave me flowers today. She said I looked sad.

...I don't know what that means. ._.

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My mind hasn't been clear lately. Deidara keeps prying facts out of me that I never thought I'd tell anyone. I don't know what it is about him, but he just smiles and I spill out all these secrets I... would have rather kept to myself. It's so hard to think...
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I don't think I have an expression profound enough to describe what a headache this week has been.

First, things with Deidara have gotten... complicated. I saved him from a bar raid a few nights ago and since then... he seems so attached me. And strangely... well... I have grown extremely fond of him in return. I did everything in my power to warn him about who I was and how he shouldn't get attached to me, but he doesn't listen. *small smile* I suppose he's just too stubborn to listen to logic, and I am usually helpless against that type of personality.

Part of me doesn't want it. Part of me still remember every feature of Amber's face, every kiss we shared, every moment we had before her... her last mission. Being around Deidara and not regretting it makes me feels like I'm betraying her somehow... Even four years after her death, I still mourn. I can't stop mourning. She would find it pitiful. *sigh*

Secondly, Deidara's roommate, Itachi, is definitely not 'just some roommate' as he plays out to be. I wasn't all that surprised to find him as an ANBU member, but he had the gall to challenge me to a fight on the top of his apartment complex right when I was going to check on Deidara. Poor fool. I nearly killed him, but that idiot Kakashi had to butt in. I must have a.... word with him about interferring with my business. T___T;; And what's he doing with Itachi anyways? I thought he left ANBU a long time ago...

*sigh* I must report to L about some of this mess. He will know anyways because he has secret ways that not even I know of, but I think he just likes testing my loyalty.

[viewable only to pro-ban]

I can't shake off the feeling that something's wrong. The bars have gotten much, much better at hiding their music-related activity, and yet there seem to be more and more people going to them. Something big must've happened recently. I wonder if L knows.

If things continue this way... I may have to go in and see for myself what's going on.

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I... don't believe it. O_________O;; By all accounts, even my own, Yagami Light disappeared off the face of the planet. But I just saw him in an alleyway, bleeding and confused. He was being helped by strangers so I'm confident he'll find his way back to his family, but... I'm not sure what to do. This hasn't happened before, not to me. I've never let anyone out of my sight, but the way the kid disappeared was nothing short of vanishing into thin air.

I need to tell L. Soon. Perhaps in person. I don't trust giving this sort of information to him over the phone. I hope he'll be pleased. Both of us had lost a lot of sleep over Light. << >>;

Deidara's roommate isn't very friendly. O___o;; Scary man, that one. I hope I didn't do anything to insult him... I wasn't even sure if he liked my food. :( But... it was strangely nice celebrating someone's birthday. I haven't done that in a long time. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did. Maybe it was for my sister...

In other news, Ryuuzaki-sensei seemed depressed today in class. I'm not sure why, but I noticed that his intake of sweets has tripled. I wasn't aware that was possible. X_x

[viewable only to Kakashi]
Didn't you say the kid you were supposed to kill was named Itachi? Are we dealing with the same Itachi? I'm not sure if he sees me as a threat yet, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be seeing him the sam way. << >> With all the business I need to do at night, I don't have time to be worrying about some punk. He's your business, not mine. I just hope he doesn't hurt Deidara. And NO, I'm not worried, I simply dislike the idea of having an innocent hurt over Pandora-related business.

I'm hurt and it pisses me off.

I was doing a late-night surveillance run for L last night when an explosion in a nearby building caught me off-guard. Stupid stupid STUPID! I'm not SUPPOSED to get caught off-guard! I was on the roof of the building right beside the damn thing and nearly got throw from the railing when it happened. My trench coat protected me from most of the blast, but a projectile glass shard sliced over my thigh. I don't think it hit any major arteries, but it's enough to cause a limp. The pain I can deal with, but... Hell. *curses under his breath* I'll go in for work for a day, just to see how well I can hide it. If people notice, I might have to take a few days off to wait for the leg to heal.

I'm glad I left Mao at home last night. The explosion would have certainly thrown him off the roof.

WHAT IS SCARECROW DOING IN MY HOME?!?! >________________O Damn him, I should've bought more locks for the door. And now he wants to be fed. And he won't shut up about relationships. Grrrr....

Pandora, couldn't you have assigned him to some country far, far away from here? D:

Went out stargazing last night and met a blond artist by the name of Deidara. He's new in town and as far as I know, he was lost and without a jacket. O___o;; In.. the middle of winter. He said he'll be okay and I didn't see anything in the news about anyone freezing to death in the park, so I assume he got home okay... Still, he should be more careful. :( And take a friend along. Or... something.

Anyways, we talked for a little while about nothing in particular, and I tried to warn him to stay away from the bars. He seemed curious about then and... well, with all the raids going on nowadays, there's more than a likely chance of him getting into trouble. Speaking of which, I know there's no way it can be changed, but I wish the police would stop raiding at three in the morning and waking up half the city with their sirens. =_________=;;;;

What's going on all of the sudden? There's something about a kid getting hit by a car and a lot of talk about a big Christmas party and all this other drama with couples and sleeping around and... and... other stuff I can't seem to understand. It seems like this whole city's gone mad for the holidays. I think I need to go curl up with Mao and watch a good movie now.

=_________=;; I'm so glad I"m single...

Yamagi Light must be the most perfect kid I've ever followed. His grades are perfect, his teachers love him, and he has a reputation as the perfect police chief's son. I don't think he's even said a curse word within my hearing.

That's... odd. I'm not sure what to think of it. Most of my missions involve druggies and people who are far from normal. Light... is different. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

The class is going well, though I must say that the teacher is absurdly strange. I mustn't let him distract me from my mission, though he does seem to like picking on Light. They have some sort of rivalry going on that baffles me a bit, though I doubt it's very important. The next thing I need to do is talk to Light. That can't be too hard, he's quite popular with kids of both genders. I just hope that teacher won't grow a habit out of picking on me. He's already giving me odd looks. =_=;;

So I signed up for some university classes to follow the Yagami kid that L wants me to keep an eye on. Guess which one I was placed in? =___________=;; Philosophy. I dislike philosophy with a passion. Thinking too much is not part of my job --if it was, I doubt I'd be able to function given the type of work I have. I think I killed the last man that tried to lecture me on how killing was wrong. Life is so much easier if I don't meet people like that. (Life will probably be safer for them, too.) *sigh* 

Pandora probably planned all this from the beginning. Some big-shot just wants to make me squirm.

And Mao likes his new toy. Thank god. I need to take him on a night mission sometime, just to get him out of the room.

She disappeared on a snowy day like this one, I remember. At least, it was snowing where I was. I didn't know where she was, and if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here feeling sorry for myself and fighting the urge to drown my worries in a flask of wine.

We were close, you see... So close that people who didn't know any better thought we were lovers.

To describe her in a word, she was tiny. A born and bred gymnast, much more so than I ever was. I couldn't help it, I always felt the urge to protect her even when it wasn't needed, even when she turned to me and laughed at me for acting like a stray puppy. "Onii-san, you're so silly," she'd say, "Stop being a worry-wart."


Am I being punished for being a bad brother? Was I supposed to be with her when she disappeared? Is she still out there somewhere, begging that I find her? Today, it'll be four years since she disappeared. She was only eighteen, I was barely twenty. She was the only family I had in the world, and now she's gone and I'm stuck with nothing but a black cat and an old telescope we used to use to look at the stars together.

I miss you, Bai. I miss you so much it hurts.

I had forgotten how forward Japanese women could be. =_____=;; My manager's youngest daughter works at the restaurant as a waitress and she wouldn't stop coming over and trying to speak Chinese to me. I don't know if she realizes that I'm... er... eight years her senior. She keeps calling my accent cute* and asking me to show her some 'crazy kong fu moves.'

She's cute and distracting and all, but I'm not looking to get fired on my first day at work. << >>;; Its bad enough that the boss yelled at me for not cooking fast enough. He didn't want perfect plates, he just wanted lots of them. I suppose I'll have to keep practicing then.

I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. It's a bit dirty, I suppose, but it's more than enough for me. I should just buy a cheap sofa to sleep on and then I'll be set. Mao** seemed to have settled in quite nicely. He likes the windowsill and curls up there all day. I'm afraid I've spoiled him a bit too much, he doesn't like chasing things nearly as much as he used to and he really only eats and sleeps now. Like me, I suppose. ^^;;;;

Oooooh, there's a sale on eggs in the market! I should make some fried rice tomorrow morning. #^___^#

*I don't think Hei/Li actually has an accent speaking Japanese, but he probably pretends to have one as Li. XD

**Mao - Hei's black cat. He was trained in the Pandora program and can do short surveillence runs and minor errands.

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Apparently my newest assignment is in Japan again, this time in a city under a strict music ban. Pandora said that L needed help. Yes, THE L. I've never worked directly with the UN (since UN and Pandora relations are strained to begin with) but I've heard a great deal about what he could do. The upper-ups are being all smug about sending me in, so I assume the situation in the city is worse than they say it is. I could keep using the name Li Shen-Shung and I could pick any job and life style I wanted provided I didn't work night shifts. Night would be dedicated to missions only.

I was also given strict instructions to report back to Pandora and only Pandora. No information leaks, no exchanges, no questions asked. I was to help Land end all relations there. Apparently, L is not a man to be underestimated and Pandora doesn't trust him any more than they trust the UN.

....Secretly, I wonder what type of person he is. I've been meaning to ask him about my sister, if he could find anything about my sister. Pandora may have dropped her case, but I haven't. If there's anyone that can find her, this... super detective probably could.

It's only a smidgen of hope, I know... but a hope nonetheless.

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**Pandora = controversial branch of the United Nations that uses force, violence and murder to keep peace in the world. (This totally isn't accurate to the anime, but oh well. XD Its easier to explain.)